The most gayest person in the world and possible the universe walked towards me.
And out of the hundred other people sitting on these benches during their lunch break he decided he would sit next to me.
And with sit next to me I mean really close to me.
I avoided eye contact with him the best I could.
“If you were a plant or flower, which one would you be?” he asks me out of the blue.
I wasn’t sure if I should answer that, because he might never shut up again, but I’m a too nice of a person so I answered his stupid question, “A Venus fly-trap.”
Right after those words left my mouth I regretted ever saying them, off course he now thought I was super gay too.
Like they same all men come from Mars and women come from Venus, so as a plant I would kill women so that there would only be men left in the world.
I meant it in a violent way, that I want to eat flesh.
“I would be a Liatris.”, He says while unpacking his lunch, it was large and wrapped in tin foil which looked more like a giant silver dildo than lunch.
The guy was clearly a size queen.
I was really hoping it wasn’t going to be a whole salami, and he would start slobbering all over it with his lips wrapped around it.
He held it with both hands, one a little further to the back of the sandwich and he worked it into his mouth, honey mustard sauce was dripping from the sides from him squeezing on it, which he caught with wiggling his tongue, it was truly a disgusting sight.
A yellow frisbee lands near our feet, he quickly puts his sub sandwich next to him and picks it up, he was bending over with his buttocks pointing to my face.
His tight pants got pulled down a bit in the process and he got up, threw the frisbee back with a pussy throw and turned towards me while pulling up his pants.
“It’s such a hot summer day, I always wanted to have a dog to play frisbee with in the park.”, He said when he continued eating his sub sandwich.
I couldn’t stand how he said hot and dog and play and park just like that.
“Do you come here more often?” he asks.
I ignore him and continue looking to my left side so I wouldn’t see him, people were passing by and I saw a young woman jogging into our direction.
She was wearing spandex shorts and top and was listening to music, her ponytail going from left to right, her breasts bouncing up and down.
My eyes followed her as she made her way over, we exchanged looks, she smiled briefly almost look like she was about to laugh, I watch her behind running away and I failed my plan of not looking at the right and I was looking straight at the gaylord next to me.
He was still sitting closely next to me and I’m sure the young woman noticed, she probably thought we were a couple.
“Do you come here more often?” he asked while taking a sip of his coffee with his pinky in the air.
I wondered if he was into me, not that I wanted him too be but I still wanted to find out, so I looked at my right and he stared straight at me with a big smile on his face and some sauce on the corner of his mouth.
I couldn’t stop staring at it and he noticed, he licked it away slowly and I felt like throwing up again.
After that I began to pack my things and was ready to head back to the place I work.
I got up and so did he, was he going to do something?
“It was nice meeting you, but I got to get going now.”, He said and turned towards a young woman with a stroller.
“Hey darlings.”, He said right before he kissed the woman and looked in the stroller at his daughter.
Gays sure know how to blend in, I thought to myself while I removed the chain lock and unfolded my scooter.
And out of the hundred other people sitting on these benches during their lunch break he decided he would sit next to me.
And with sit next to me I mean really close to me.
I avoided eye contact with him the best I could.
“If you were a plant or flower, which one would you be?” he asks me out of the blue.
I wasn’t sure if I should answer that, because he might never shut up again, but I’m a too nice of a person so I answered his stupid question, “A Venus fly-trap.”
Right after those words left my mouth I regretted ever saying them, off course he now thought I was super gay too.
Like they same all men come from Mars and women come from Venus, so as a plant I would kill women so that there would only be men left in the world.
I meant it in a violent way, that I want to eat flesh.
“I would be a Liatris.”, He says while unpacking his lunch, it was large and wrapped in tin foil which looked more like a giant silver dildo than lunch.
The guy was clearly a size queen.
I was really hoping it wasn’t going to be a whole salami, and he would start slobbering all over it with his lips wrapped around it.
He held it with both hands, one a little further to the back of the sandwich and he worked it into his mouth, honey mustard sauce was dripping from the sides from him squeezing on it, which he caught with wiggling his tongue, it was truly a disgusting sight.
A yellow frisbee lands near our feet, he quickly puts his sub sandwich next to him and picks it up, he was bending over with his buttocks pointing to my face.
His tight pants got pulled down a bit in the process and he got up, threw the frisbee back with a pussy throw and turned towards me while pulling up his pants.
“It’s such a hot summer day, I always wanted to have a dog to play frisbee with in the park.”, He said when he continued eating his sub sandwich.
I couldn’t stand how he said hot and dog and play and park just like that.
“Do you come here more often?” he asks.
I ignore him and continue looking to my left side so I wouldn’t see him, people were passing by and I saw a young woman jogging into our direction.
She was wearing spandex shorts and top and was listening to music, her ponytail going from left to right, her breasts bouncing up and down.
My eyes followed her as she made her way over, we exchanged looks, she smiled briefly almost look like she was about to laugh, I watch her behind running away and I failed my plan of not looking at the right and I was looking straight at the gaylord next to me.
He was still sitting closely next to me and I’m sure the young woman noticed, she probably thought we were a couple.
“Do you come here more often?” he asked while taking a sip of his coffee with his pinky in the air.
I wondered if he was into me, not that I wanted him too be but I still wanted to find out, so I looked at my right and he stared straight at me with a big smile on his face and some sauce on the corner of his mouth.
I couldn’t stop staring at it and he noticed, he licked it away slowly and I felt like throwing up again.
After that I began to pack my things and was ready to head back to the place I work.
I got up and so did he, was he going to do something?
“It was nice meeting you, but I got to get going now.”, He said and turned towards a young woman with a stroller.
“Hey darlings.”, He said right before he kissed the woman and looked in the stroller at his daughter.
Gays sure know how to blend in, I thought to myself while I removed the chain lock and unfolded my scooter.
