“James, do you know why you are here?” His psychiatrist asked, a flat chested woman wearing a brown matching shirt and pants, the shirt was tucked into the pants and bulged above her waist, it made him think her upper body was cut of turned around and her head was placed on top of it again, making her breasts hang on her legs.

He kept on rocking back and forth staring at the shoelaces on his left shoe dangling from side to side.
“James?” She asked again in a concerned voice.

”I could barely see, everything seemed out of focus.”, He said, “Blurry, like I had just opened my eyes underwater.”
She clicked her pen twice and asked, “So you don’t remember what you did wrong?”

He rested his head on his knees for a moment before closing his eyes and speaking, “Only afterwards I started to see the things I had done.”
“And how did that make you feel?” She asked.

“Suffocated, because I can’t breath underwater. I’m not a fish. Do you think I look like a fish? A blowfish, because I suck?” He said while brushing the tiny hairs on the suede sofa into the same direction.
“You did it again, that thing you do, what we talked about before.”, She said while taking notes, “Always trying to find things people might say that would aggravate you.”

He said nothing in return, so she continued, “Don’t you feel bad about what you did to all those people?”
“They had it coming! And can I leave yet? Claire is waiting for my at home, she must be worried.” He yelled as he got up and walked to the window and opened it.
“Calm down, what are you doing?” She asked right before he threw his shoes out of the window.

Below the window a crowd was shouting chants of hatred, and camera crews were waiting at the door steps of the building he was in.
“Mr. Hafemeister you walked into a discotheque and started sniffing peoples backsides, traumatising them for life. What do you have to say for yourself?” One of the reporters yelled up to the open window.
Everyone looked up and waited for his answer.

He stuck his head out of the window and yelled, “Jack got jacked while jacking off.”, turned around dropped his pants and took a shit out of the window.
Not just any shit, thousand old gold and silver Celtic coins started popping from his sphincter and people forgot all about what had happened at the disco.

A pain blasted through his chest cavity, like liquid napalm rushed through his bloodstream, when it got to his heart it ignited.
The flames in his chest turned into a ball and melted all his insides.
Light started to glow out of his pores, and lighted up the entire city landscape.
The strokes of light stopped streaming out of him when there was no fuel left to burn up.
He spoke his final words, ‘Good morning’, right before he turned into ashes and his remains got carried away by the wind.

He stood on tall buildings every now and then wearing nothing but his underwear, screaming at the people below.
He watches down upon us and tries to figure out how we ever got to this place.
“And then we learned how to make gunpowder, and how to mix chemicals.”, He yelled his thoughts to the swarm of people below, “Now we can make and take anything we want.”
But it did not reply.
“If our civilization was suddenly wiped out by the impact of a gigantic rock from space, the only thing future archeologists would find out about us is that we all carried cellphones and our hands were shaped oddly because of a much used tool these days. The computer mouse.”, He yelled again.
People walking on the sidewalk below stopped and looked up at the chubby man standing on the ledge who was yelling crazy things.
A crowd formed and police and firetruck sirens raced down the streets to get to him.
“Don’t do it!” Someone in the crowd yelled.
Inspired another one yelled, “There’s still so much left to live for.”
This went on until the police arrived and started surrounding the building and climbing up the stairs.
A officer holding a megaphone started talking to him, “Son, things might seem bad right now, but you can’t predict the future. Just come down from the ledge so we can talk.”
The sun shined through the clouds and splashed down onto his white flesh and spread out voluminously across the city, blinding all those who took a moment to look up, wiping the memories of him ever existing from their brains.

Hetcher Krumwiede found that the cure for any of his illnesses was writing positive words on the ailing parts of his body.
People kept telling him that was just plain stupid and he should see a doctor instead, but Hetcher Krumwiede never learned how to listen to others.
This was also the reason why he had written the word stubborn on his forehead, he hoped that would go away too by simply writing it on there with a blue ink pen.
He would have rather used a red ink pen, but they were out of those at his favorite stationary shop.
He wrote these ‘healing’ words all over his body and by the time these words had faded away and had travelled through his body he would start to feel much better.
Even when he started coughing up blood, even when his hair began to fall out, he kept on writing until each of his pen had run out of ink.
His sickness started to go away, but his skin turned a light blue.
It was from all the ink, the doctors said, and they started giving him erasers for every meal.
Hetcher Krumweide is doing much better now that he is on this special diet, but he does feel a little nauseous, so he began sucking on some crayons he found in the children’s ward.

“Like Hitler in a bunny suit.”
Sentences like that sporadicly left his mouth, triggered by even the smallest of things.

Mormons were handing out pamphlets in front of a busy mall, when he walked by them he noticed one of the Mormon’s tie was hanging crooked.
“I’m gay for Ghandi.”

He was about to receive an award for bravery for saving a bag of kittens from drowning in a koi pond. He began his speech and everything was going fine until a fly bumped against the microphone.
“Golem was a Jew!”

The weather report predicted today would be a windy day, with gusty winds up to 50 mph.
Amanda had watched the news that morning and came prepared, she had tied a rope around her waist and was making her way to school.
She walked into the hard wind that tried it’s best to pick sweep her off her feet, tying the other end of the rope to each sturdy object she encountered.
From lamppost to lamppost, trees to mailboxes, parking meter to bike racks and so forth.
The winds were so bad she had trouble staying on the ground and was holding onto a tree, scared she might get blown away and the rope would break under such pressure.

		“Are you okay?” Someone behind her asked.

She looked behind her and saw a boy wearing the same school uniform as she did, but she didn’t recognize him.
He looked out of breath, the wind blew her words away, but thankfully in the right direction,

					“I got to the same school as you!”

He has holding onto his backpack, that when he came closer, looked really heavy.

			“Rocks.” He yelled into the wind.

She looked at him confused, frowning right before the wind blew her hair into her face.
He went on and said,

	“That’s what keeping me on the ground, but my shoulders are killing me.”

He looked at her waist and saw the rope, came closer and nodded, she understood what he meant and she untied to rope and handed it to him, he then tied it to his own waist and the walked the rest of the street.
It began to rain and besides almost being swooped away by the wind they were now becoming soaking wet.
Paper and trash was flying everywhere, and a second grader was stuck in a small tornado and his parents were running after it trying to catch their son.

		“Simon!”			“Simon!!”

Together they crossed the street, the wind started blowing harder then it had been that morning and when they were about half way across, the straps of his backpack broken and his backpack fell onto the street, rocks rolled out.
The wind blew through the streets, and headed towards them like a tidal wave.
They looked at each other and grabbed each other’s hands.
‘Swooosh’, went the wind and picked them off their feet.

	And for a short..
					Moment..
							They were..
										Gliding..

On a frisky friday night Felipe escorts the cute girl he met a the bar home, she invites him in for some coffee, and he admits that he would just love to have some.
He looked around her living room at all the things she had spend her life so far on collecting, things that at the end would all just be thrown away again.
She came back from her bedroom that was attached to her living room, the door was open and she came back with less clothes on then he remembered.
“Are you coming?” She asked as she kicked off her undies.
Felipe watched her polka dot underwear fall down onto the floor, “I thought you were making coffee.”
She looked at him a bit confused, ”I was thinking something else.”
Some words left his mouth but it was simple enough to fill in the blanks, “You mean..”
“Because I really like you.”, She said while unhooking her bra.
He promptly asked, “Do you really invite strangers into your home more often?”
“Does that matter?” She asked as goosebumps appeared all over her body from the cold floor.
“It does, and if you get guys to go upstairs by deceiving them, thats just not cool. You told me there would be coffee, right?” His lips trembled with every word he spoke.
“Don’t you ever watch any movies? If another person asks you if you want to come up for a cup of coffee they don’t actually mean coffee but invite the other up to their bedroom.” She explained while rubbing her arms to push the goosebumps back in.
“No, I almost never watch TV. My parents were book freaks, so there was no television in our home.” He replied.
“That’s horrible. Books are so boring!” She yelled.
He kept staring at the floor which was so clean it still reflected a bit of the image of her naked body, “They don’t have to be boring, and the time I safe not watching commercials is worth it. Theres about 26 minutes of commercials each hour. And the average person watches 28 hours per week, so that’s about 12 hours of commercials.” He said.
“That’s 24 days filled with commercials each year!” He quickly added.
She looked at him with a dazed look on her face and questioned him, “How do you even know this?”
“I read about it on the back of a eco-friendly box of eco-friendly cereals.” He explained.
A moment of silence followed until she looked straight into his eyes and asked, “Could you hold me?”
“Off course.” He said and walked over to her, embracing her in his arms and wrapping her with his coat.
She steps onto his feet and kisses him when their lips parted again she asked, “Do you want to come along, or do you still want a cup of coffee?”
He laughed and said, “We can have coffee in the morning.”
They walked into her bedroom and the last thing he said was, “I know some great stuff we can do, I read it in some books my father hid in his study.”