“Potions are underrated.”, The potion maker said.
“And why do I have to undress again?” Gaile asked.
“This new potion I made, helps hair grow more rapid, and since your my only sampler you have to test it.”, The potion maker explained in a tone of voice that said he had to keep explaining her part in these tests.
“Hair! Why would I want to submit myself to testing a potion that will turn me into an ape!” She yelled.
“Don’t worry I have another potion, that will make you hair free again.”, He said.
She was holding on to her shirt that covered her private parts, “Has it been tested yet?”
“Just drink it.”, He said.
And so she puckered her lips and let the elixir flush into her mouth, she pinched her nose and swallowed.
“Gross! As always.”, She gargled.
Nothing happened and he told her to get dressed and go home to let it settle for a night.
At night she looked up at her wooden ceiling and wondered why she took this job in the first place.
Yes, she needed the money, but there were other alternatives like working in a gold mine or as a barmaid in the local inn.
But she had a weak back and didn’t like socializing with others very much.
And working for the potion maker had it’s advantages, the pregnancy potion she tested had a nice side effect, she now had twice the breast size she once had, and her husband was a very happy man now.
While the villagers were chasing her with pitchforks and torches, threatening to burn her alive at the stake, the only place she could run to was to the house of her employer.
She ran inside and quickly closed the door behind her and while she rested against the big wooden door she yelled at him, “You!”
He was wearing his nightgown and had a funny sleeping cap on, “Oh, great! So the potion works!”
He took a sample from her beard and searched his cabinets for the hair-loss potion he promised her.
“Here drink this while standing on your head, this potion needs to be consumed upside down.”, He said before he handed her the vial.
She was never that great at any kind of aerobics, but she managed to stand on her head long enough for the drink to go down, or actually go up.
She slept on the bear hide on the floor and the next morning she was lying on a bed of long dark hairs, she emerged from them completely hair free, and completely nude.
“Good morning.”, He said cheerfully.
She covered herself the best she could, using handful of the hair she had lost the night before.
“Give me some clothes!” She yelled, shivering from the cold.
And so he did, he went into a another room and came back with the smallest clothes he could find and gave them to her, “I’ll turn around, so I wont peek.”
When she was dressed he invited her to breakfast, he had prepared her a meal.
She smelled the fresh bread and eggs, “Delicious!”
“Have some milk, fresh from the market.”, He said while he pushed the mug closer to her side of the table.
She grabbed it and was about to drink when it smelled a bit funny, “Wait a minute!”
He got up and stood behind her and holding her jaws together he made her swallow it.
“Just drink it!” He yelled from between his semi-rotten teeth.
Her tongue could not compare it with anything she had ever tasted before.
‘Was it strawberry or Belgium chocolate?’ She wondered to herself.
“So, how was it?” He asked with a big smile across his face.
She got up and looked a bit upset, “What’s going to happen now? Am I going to turn into an ogre or shrink to the size of a bean?!”
“Calm down, this doesn’t transform you into anything, and you already turned into an ogre once with the swim-like-a-fish potion.”
“I still have to remove some left over scales grow every morning!” She yelled.
She calmed down and began breathing heavily, “I feel stuffed. Like I just ate a big meal.”
“I’m calling it Meal In A Bottle.”, He proudly announced.
She was clearly surprised, “You mean to say you made something useful for once?”
“Oh, how funny, guess I can not one of the side effects is humor.”, He replied.
They both laughed until she grew an extra set of arms.
She was clearly very angry, “What! This is what you call a Meal In A Bottle?!”
“Didn’t see that one coming.”, He calmly said.
The potion maker sat down in his thinking chair, “Let me think of a solution.”
She began to sob, “And now what! I cant have four arms! People already think I’m a freak.”
“Okay how about you..”, He stopped mid sentence to find another potion.
He walked back to her and handed her a tonic labeled ‘Sweet Dreams’.
“Are you sure?” She asked and began to drink it.
“Drink this and you’ll have pleasant dreams.”, He said right before her eyelids fell over her eyes and she went to dreamland.
When she woke up, she was pleasantly surprised she hadn’t woken up with another head on her shoulder.
Her second pair of arms were gone, but the bandages in its place were a bit suspicious.
But when she looked around the room he was gone, she got up and saw no sign of him.
She did find a note on his desk, ‘Dear Gaile, I left to go to a potion making conference at the King’s castle, won’t be back for three days.’
His desk was filled with notes, she picked one up ‘Side effects of the philter include loss of hair, a unsatisfiable hunger and the person drinking it will only be attracted to the opposite sex in animals, instead of their lover. I have made a new version that still needs testing, hope Gaile wont mind. For the greater good of potion making!’
She goes over to his potion cabinet and begins to read each label.
Firework potion, gender change brew, levitation potion, potty mouth tonic, vial of lies, and something called Dr. Pepper.
Most of the labels were hard to read, most likely because they were in the cabinet for a long time, his first potion might be the most dangerous, but she saw one labelled ‘Golden Feces’ and couldn’t help herself to drink it.
‘This could make me rich! No more potion sampling!’ She cheerfully thought to herself.
She waited a while for something to happen but nothing did, so she decided to go back home.
On her way back home she passed by a field with horses, she felt strangely attracted to one of the males.
She climbed over the fence and walked up to one of the stallions, she slowly petted him, brushing his hair with her fingers, she wets her lips and moves in for the kiss.
“Hey! Get away from my horse! Freak!”, the farmer yelled and began chasing her across the field.
When she finally lost him she ran the last bit home only to find another note on her front door.
‘Hello again Gaile, I hope I’m right and you drank the Golden Feces potion, pooping gold seems great doesn’t it, but instead did you rush home to meet your husband? Or did something else happen? I’ll hear it next week, until then, take care.’
She ripped the note into bits and opened her front door and was frightened to find her dog Luther had been waiting patiently for her return.
‘He looks so sexy today.’, She thought to herself while she bit her lip.
“And why do I have to undress again?” Gaile asked.
“This new potion I made, helps hair grow more rapid, and since your my only sampler you have to test it.”, The potion maker explained in a tone of voice that said he had to keep explaining her part in these tests.
“Hair! Why would I want to submit myself to testing a potion that will turn me into an ape!” She yelled.
“Don’t worry I have another potion, that will make you hair free again.”, He said.
She was holding on to her shirt that covered her private parts, “Has it been tested yet?”
“Just drink it.”, He said.
And so she puckered her lips and let the elixir flush into her mouth, she pinched her nose and swallowed.
“Gross! As always.”, She gargled.
Nothing happened and he told her to get dressed and go home to let it settle for a night.
At night she looked up at her wooden ceiling and wondered why she took this job in the first place.
Yes, she needed the money, but there were other alternatives like working in a gold mine or as a barmaid in the local inn.
But she had a weak back and didn’t like socializing with others very much.
And working for the potion maker had it’s advantages, the pregnancy potion she tested had a nice side effect, she now had twice the breast size she once had, and her husband was a very happy man now.
While the villagers were chasing her with pitchforks and torches, threatening to burn her alive at the stake, the only place she could run to was to the house of her employer.
She ran inside and quickly closed the door behind her and while she rested against the big wooden door she yelled at him, “You!”
He was wearing his nightgown and had a funny sleeping cap on, “Oh, great! So the potion works!”
He took a sample from her beard and searched his cabinets for the hair-loss potion he promised her.
“Here drink this while standing on your head, this potion needs to be consumed upside down.”, He said before he handed her the vial.
She was never that great at any kind of aerobics, but she managed to stand on her head long enough for the drink to go down, or actually go up.
She slept on the bear hide on the floor and the next morning she was lying on a bed of long dark hairs, she emerged from them completely hair free, and completely nude.
“Good morning.”, He said cheerfully.
She covered herself the best she could, using handful of the hair she had lost the night before.
“Give me some clothes!” She yelled, shivering from the cold.
And so he did, he went into a another room and came back with the smallest clothes he could find and gave them to her, “I’ll turn around, so I wont peek.”
When she was dressed he invited her to breakfast, he had prepared her a meal.
She smelled the fresh bread and eggs, “Delicious!”
“Have some milk, fresh from the market.”, He said while he pushed the mug closer to her side of the table.
She grabbed it and was about to drink when it smelled a bit funny, “Wait a minute!”
He got up and stood behind her and holding her jaws together he made her swallow it.
“Just drink it!” He yelled from between his semi-rotten teeth.
Her tongue could not compare it with anything she had ever tasted before.
‘Was it strawberry or Belgium chocolate?’ She wondered to herself.
“So, how was it?” He asked with a big smile across his face.
She got up and looked a bit upset, “What’s going to happen now? Am I going to turn into an ogre or shrink to the size of a bean?!”
“Calm down, this doesn’t transform you into anything, and you already turned into an ogre once with the swim-like-a-fish potion.”
“I still have to remove some left over scales grow every morning!” She yelled.
She calmed down and began breathing heavily, “I feel stuffed. Like I just ate a big meal.”
“I’m calling it Meal In A Bottle.”, He proudly announced.
She was clearly surprised, “You mean to say you made something useful for once?”
“Oh, how funny, guess I can not one of the side effects is humor.”, He replied.
They both laughed until she grew an extra set of arms.
She was clearly very angry, “What! This is what you call a Meal In A Bottle?!”
“Didn’t see that one coming.”, He calmly said.
The potion maker sat down in his thinking chair, “Let me think of a solution.”
She began to sob, “And now what! I cant have four arms! People already think I’m a freak.”
“Okay how about you..”, He stopped mid sentence to find another potion.
He walked back to her and handed her a tonic labeled ‘Sweet Dreams’.
“Are you sure?” She asked and began to drink it.
“Drink this and you’ll have pleasant dreams.”, He said right before her eyelids fell over her eyes and she went to dreamland.
When she woke up, she was pleasantly surprised she hadn’t woken up with another head on her shoulder.
Her second pair of arms were gone, but the bandages in its place were a bit suspicious.
But when she looked around the room he was gone, she got up and saw no sign of him.
She did find a note on his desk, ‘Dear Gaile, I left to go to a potion making conference at the King’s castle, won’t be back for three days.’
His desk was filled with notes, she picked one up ‘Side effects of the philter include loss of hair, a unsatisfiable hunger and the person drinking it will only be attracted to the opposite sex in animals, instead of their lover. I have made a new version that still needs testing, hope Gaile wont mind. For the greater good of potion making!’
She goes over to his potion cabinet and begins to read each label.
Firework potion, gender change brew, levitation potion, potty mouth tonic, vial of lies, and something called Dr. Pepper.
Most of the labels were hard to read, most likely because they were in the cabinet for a long time, his first potion might be the most dangerous, but she saw one labelled ‘Golden Feces’ and couldn’t help herself to drink it.
‘This could make me rich! No more potion sampling!’ She cheerfully thought to herself.
She waited a while for something to happen but nothing did, so she decided to go back home.
On her way back home she passed by a field with horses, she felt strangely attracted to one of the males.
She climbed over the fence and walked up to one of the stallions, she slowly petted him, brushing his hair with her fingers, she wets her lips and moves in for the kiss.
“Hey! Get away from my horse! Freak!”, the farmer yelled and began chasing her across the field.
When she finally lost him she ran the last bit home only to find another note on her front door.
‘Hello again Gaile, I hope I’m right and you drank the Golden Feces potion, pooping gold seems great doesn’t it, but instead did you rush home to meet your husband? Or did something else happen? I’ll hear it next week, until then, take care.’
She ripped the note into bits and opened her front door and was frightened to find her dog Luther had been waiting patiently for her return.
‘He looks so sexy today.’, She thought to herself while she bit her lip.
