The room was filled with deranged men and woman, the mental hospital’s recreation center slash cafeteria was packed and Burl was waiting on one specific moment.
His favorite time of the day had arrived, he was sitting at one of the tables eating spoonfuls of brown pudding as he was watching a patient with split personalities and a pyromaniac playing ping pong.
Which was rather entertaining for Burl because the split personality patient kept swapping from personality to another who were unaware they were in a ping pong match, and the pyromaniac was only playing because other patients told him that if he hits the ball exactly 172 times the ball would combust and set anything it touches on fire.
One of the male nurses slash guards was pushing a small cart and stopped next to Burl’s table.
Without a word he handed Burl a small paper cup with a bunch of pills in it.
They were brightly colored, this to avoid confusion of which was which, and probably to fool the weak minds in this room they might taste like their candy doppelgängers.
He picks one pill from the cup and holds it between his thumb and index finger and begins to lick the coating of it.
After his coarse tongue was done licking all of it off he placed it back in the cup and continued on with the next one until they were all a pearl white color.
He would then stare at them intensely and twitch a well hid smile in the corner of his mouth.
It was the chaos of not knowing which pill did what, or what pill suppressed what.
Ever since he began doing that he had been wanting to expand the chaos inside his cup to everyone’s.
So finished devising his nine-step plan that he wrote on a piece of toilet paper.
1. Pretend to be less insane
2. Gain the trust of nurses
3. Be transferred to better sleeping quarters
4. Escape from it during the night
5. Break into the nurse office
6. Find the cups with pills
7. Lick all of the coating off.
8. Go back to sleep
9. Kill every pony in my dreams
That following day he began setting his master plan in motion.
He acted like the perfect patient and the nurses began to notice his ‘change’ in behavior, and after only a week they told him he would be moved to a more social sleeping hall instead of his small cell-like room.
And with six more steps to go he began to study the guards and nurses that were on duty at night and around 9pm there was a 20 minute opening when the nurse at the desk would go take a break and the guard that had a thing for her would join her outside for a smoke.
While the two were flirting about he snuck into the small office located in the cafeteria.
He looked around and found a drawer filled with papers cups filled with pills. Time was of the essence, but luckily he had been licking the coating of his own pills for years now so he was somewhat of a pro, in under fifteen minutes he had sucked all the color out of all the pills.
But to his misfortune the nurse had returned early followed by the sex seeking guard.
He ran out of the office and climbed onto the ping pong table and undressed into his birthday suit, right when they stepped into the cafeteria.
Both of them were instantly appalled by his naked body.
He was dancing and singing on the ping pong table and was holding onto a bat and started hitting his own ‘ping pong’ balls.
The guard pulled him off the table and held him down while the nurse was getting a blanket.
He had seven steps complete so he didn’t care, the last two would work themselves out no matter what was going to happen next.
“This guy is really messed up Nadine.” The guard said.
She came back with a blanket, “He was doing so well these past weeks.”
“It’s no fun being crazy if there’s nobody around to watch you. It doesn’t matter what crazy shit I pull, there was nobody there that could watch me do it.”, Burl pushed out of his chest that were being pressed down onto the floor by the guard.
“Is that why you do it?” Nadine asked.
The guard dragged Burl up onto his feet and the nurse wrapped him in the blanket.
Burl held onto the blanket and continued, “No, it just happens. Like the sun rises and sets at the exact same time, or how that lady on TV tells the news at the exact same time each night.”
The guard and nurse had no time or energy for Burl and escorted him back to his old room and dressed him into his normal straight jacket pajamas.
The next morning he sat at the same table he always sat at and waited for his favorite moment that would be even better today.
Everyone got their paper cup and the entire cafeteria was silent for a brief moment, and the male nurse noticed it because in the history of the hospital for the insane had it ever been quite anywhere in the building. The guard stood next to Burl and they watched as all the patient wreaked havoc in the cafeteria.
It felt great to see his master plan come together like that.
He laughed and a big smile appeared on his face that revealed his multi rainbow coloured teeth.
His favorite time of the day had arrived, he was sitting at one of the tables eating spoonfuls of brown pudding as he was watching a patient with split personalities and a pyromaniac playing ping pong.
Which was rather entertaining for Burl because the split personality patient kept swapping from personality to another who were unaware they were in a ping pong match, and the pyromaniac was only playing because other patients told him that if he hits the ball exactly 172 times the ball would combust and set anything it touches on fire.
One of the male nurses slash guards was pushing a small cart and stopped next to Burl’s table.
Without a word he handed Burl a small paper cup with a bunch of pills in it.
They were brightly colored, this to avoid confusion of which was which, and probably to fool the weak minds in this room they might taste like their candy doppelgängers.
He picks one pill from the cup and holds it between his thumb and index finger and begins to lick the coating of it.
After his coarse tongue was done licking all of it off he placed it back in the cup and continued on with the next one until they were all a pearl white color.
He would then stare at them intensely and twitch a well hid smile in the corner of his mouth.
It was the chaos of not knowing which pill did what, or what pill suppressed what.
Ever since he began doing that he had been wanting to expand the chaos inside his cup to everyone’s.
So finished devising his nine-step plan that he wrote on a piece of toilet paper.
1. Pretend to be less insane
2. Gain the trust of nurses
3. Be transferred to better sleeping quarters
4. Escape from it during the night
5. Break into the nurse office
6. Find the cups with pills
7. Lick all of the coating off.
8. Go back to sleep
9. Kill every pony in my dreams
That following day he began setting his master plan in motion.
He acted like the perfect patient and the nurses began to notice his ‘change’ in behavior, and after only a week they told him he would be moved to a more social sleeping hall instead of his small cell-like room.
And with six more steps to go he began to study the guards and nurses that were on duty at night and around 9pm there was a 20 minute opening when the nurse at the desk would go take a break and the guard that had a thing for her would join her outside for a smoke.
While the two were flirting about he snuck into the small office located in the cafeteria.
He looked around and found a drawer filled with papers cups filled with pills. Time was of the essence, but luckily he had been licking the coating of his own pills for years now so he was somewhat of a pro, in under fifteen minutes he had sucked all the color out of all the pills.
But to his misfortune the nurse had returned early followed by the sex seeking guard.
He ran out of the office and climbed onto the ping pong table and undressed into his birthday suit, right when they stepped into the cafeteria.
Both of them were instantly appalled by his naked body.
He was dancing and singing on the ping pong table and was holding onto a bat and started hitting his own ‘ping pong’ balls.
The guard pulled him off the table and held him down while the nurse was getting a blanket.
He had seven steps complete so he didn’t care, the last two would work themselves out no matter what was going to happen next.
“This guy is really messed up Nadine.” The guard said.
She came back with a blanket, “He was doing so well these past weeks.”
“It’s no fun being crazy if there’s nobody around to watch you. It doesn’t matter what crazy shit I pull, there was nobody there that could watch me do it.”, Burl pushed out of his chest that were being pressed down onto the floor by the guard.
“Is that why you do it?” Nadine asked.
The guard dragged Burl up onto his feet and the nurse wrapped him in the blanket.
Burl held onto the blanket and continued, “No, it just happens. Like the sun rises and sets at the exact same time, or how that lady on TV tells the news at the exact same time each night.”
The guard and nurse had no time or energy for Burl and escorted him back to his old room and dressed him into his normal straight jacket pajamas.
The next morning he sat at the same table he always sat at and waited for his favorite moment that would be even better today.
Everyone got their paper cup and the entire cafeteria was silent for a brief moment, and the male nurse noticed it because in the history of the hospital for the insane had it ever been quite anywhere in the building. The guard stood next to Burl and they watched as all the patient wreaked havoc in the cafeteria.
It felt great to see his master plan come together like that.
He laughed and a big smile appeared on his face that revealed his multi rainbow coloured teeth.
