“He has to be the worst leader figure ever, he couldn’t even tell lemmings what to do.” Wallace said while he watched their boss was talking to two girls that just came into the shop.
“Unless he told them to jump off the cliff and they happen to do so because they want to get away from his constant bickering.” Rashad reinforced.
The both laughed in a shared feeling of harmony, until their boss walked over to them, their eyes fell on the crucifix dangling from the earring in his right lobe.
“Why aren’t you two wearing you tracksuits and white sneakers?” He asked them.
“It’s at the dry-cleaners.” Rashad said before Wallace could.
Wallace raised his lips and said, “My dog ate them.”
The self-acclaimed saint placed his arms in his side and shook his head, “Ok then, you can use the extra pairs I got.”
He walked into the mess hall, and Rashad and Wallace changed into the mandatory tracksuit and white sneakers and made their way to the mess hall.
He went to retrieve the extra pair of tracksuits and sport shoes that were left behind by followers that had left the cult, then came back and dumped them into the arms of his followers before heading towards the mess hall.
Rashad and Wallace struggled into the tracksuits, which suffocated some of their body parts, and squeezed their feet into the cramped shoes. Wheezing uncomfortably, they hobbled after their leader.
They entered the mess hall and joined the back of the crowd, their leader was standing on a stage with about twenty followers standing in front of him
He stood in front of a big banner that was gently waving back and forth that had a gigantic self-portrait on it and began his speech, “Children of the Nation I welcome you to this very special night.”
The crowd all started talking at the same time until someone in the crowd asked, “What do you mean by special?”
“Didn’t you read the bulletin board? It explains everything that I’v planned for tonight.” He said with a slight irritation in his voice.
Again the crowd started discussing, “What bulletin board?” One of them asked.
“At the door! Let me just tell you whats going on tonight.” He said.
Everyone nodded slightly and their leader continued, “Tonight, we will become one with the graceful God we serve. We will leave behind all our earthly belongings and find eternal happiness.” Their leader explained.
“How?” Rashad asked while pulling the fabric near his crotch down because it was squashing his junk.
“We have an buffet with some of my famous cheese fondue, be careful because it’s steaming hot, and I burned me tongue when I tasted it. And there are two bowls of gatorade, the right one is for lessening your thirst, the left one is for the ceremony. So please eat and drink something and mingle for one last time.”
The crowd immediately surrounded the buffet table and started to dip in the fondue like crazy.
“Man, this is why I’m here!”, “I love these.” and “This is the only divine thing in this building.” Were just some of the reactions.
Two members were filling the bowls with gatorade, one with red the other with green gatorade.
Wallace got inspired when he saw Rashad burn his mouth and shared his brand new plan with everyone else, “You know he’s colorblind right? How about we swap the two drinks so he mistakes the ordinary one for the poison one.”
There was some discussing going on in the crowd and the looked over at the stage and saw their glorious leader praying to his own image.
Rashad switched the two bowls and said, “We should empty out the poisoned one so he thinks we all filled our cups with it already.”
They all filled their cups with the red gatorade and poured some of the green one in the bowl.
The ceremony was about to begin and they all turned back to the stage and watched and listened to him, “Are you all ready? Ready for a eternal life filled with wisdom and happiness, without stress, sadness, violence or people laughing at you because the think your stupid?!”
He always yelled when he got excited about something, he jumped off stage and filled his cup in the left bowl and climbed back up stage.
“The moment has arrived, would you all raise your glass.” He said while raising his.
“Their plastic cups.” Someone in the crowd commented.
He ignored it and went on, “Drink this and we will reunite in Heaven.” And drank everything that was in his cup.
He looked at his followers who at first were just staring, then all realized and drank their gatorade.
They watched him as he fell onto the stage with foam coming from his mouth, he looked confused on how they were just fine and asked, “What did you do?”
Rashad and Wallace laughed first, then the crowd followed.
“Man, we swapped the drinks and all drank the red gatorade.”, Rashad explained.
“You know, because your colorblind.” Someone in the crowd explained.
“Ah, God it hurts so badly, help me please.” Their leader begged.
People were looking at each other hoping someone would say something until someone did, “But this was your idea, your ticket into Heaven.”
“We’re just here for the fondue dude.”, Wallace said.
The cult leader was crawling off the stairs leading to the stage and screamed, “Call an ambulance!”
“Why?” Rashad asked.
“It’s all a scam, a lie, I just didn’t want to die alone.” He yelled while squirmed on the floor.
“So you’re suicidal and you wanted all of us to kill ourselves so you’d wouldn’t be alone?” Wallace asked.
“Yes, my mother never loved me. And this city used to like me but they spit me out into the gutter after I lost the key to the city.” He explained.
“He’s clearly delusional.” Someone in the crowd concluded.
“Really, now you think he is? Not the whole I’m the son of God talk? The tracksuit and sneakers, or the poisonous gatorade?” Rashad said while taking another bite of fondue, “Fuck that’s hot!”
The sirens of the ambulance were getting closer and they dragged their leader outside.
After their leader got his stomach pumped all of his former followers went back to live normal lives except for Rashad and Wallace.
The three of them opened a fondue restaurant named ‘Divine Fondue of the world’, Which later became known as that place killed a ton of people because they served people poisoned gatorade.
“Unless he told them to jump off the cliff and they happen to do so because they want to get away from his constant bickering.” Rashad reinforced.
The both laughed in a shared feeling of harmony, until their boss walked over to them, their eyes fell on the crucifix dangling from the earring in his right lobe.
“Why aren’t you two wearing you tracksuits and white sneakers?” He asked them.
“It’s at the dry-cleaners.” Rashad said before Wallace could.
Wallace raised his lips and said, “My dog ate them.”
The self-acclaimed saint placed his arms in his side and shook his head, “Ok then, you can use the extra pairs I got.”
He walked into the mess hall, and Rashad and Wallace changed into the mandatory tracksuit and white sneakers and made their way to the mess hall.
He went to retrieve the extra pair of tracksuits and sport shoes that were left behind by followers that had left the cult, then came back and dumped them into the arms of his followers before heading towards the mess hall.
Rashad and Wallace struggled into the tracksuits, which suffocated some of their body parts, and squeezed their feet into the cramped shoes. Wheezing uncomfortably, they hobbled after their leader.
They entered the mess hall and joined the back of the crowd, their leader was standing on a stage with about twenty followers standing in front of him
He stood in front of a big banner that was gently waving back and forth that had a gigantic self-portrait on it and began his speech, “Children of the Nation I welcome you to this very special night.”
The crowd all started talking at the same time until someone in the crowd asked, “What do you mean by special?”
“Didn’t you read the bulletin board? It explains everything that I’v planned for tonight.” He said with a slight irritation in his voice.
Again the crowd started discussing, “What bulletin board?” One of them asked.
“At the door! Let me just tell you whats going on tonight.” He said.
Everyone nodded slightly and their leader continued, “Tonight, we will become one with the graceful God we serve. We will leave behind all our earthly belongings and find eternal happiness.” Their leader explained.
“How?” Rashad asked while pulling the fabric near his crotch down because it was squashing his junk.
“We have an buffet with some of my famous cheese fondue, be careful because it’s steaming hot, and I burned me tongue when I tasted it. And there are two bowls of gatorade, the right one is for lessening your thirst, the left one is for the ceremony. So please eat and drink something and mingle for one last time.”
The crowd immediately surrounded the buffet table and started to dip in the fondue like crazy.
“Man, this is why I’m here!”, “I love these.” and “This is the only divine thing in this building.” Were just some of the reactions.
Two members were filling the bowls with gatorade, one with red the other with green gatorade.
Wallace got inspired when he saw Rashad burn his mouth and shared his brand new plan with everyone else, “You know he’s colorblind right? How about we swap the two drinks so he mistakes the ordinary one for the poison one.”
There was some discussing going on in the crowd and the looked over at the stage and saw their glorious leader praying to his own image.
Rashad switched the two bowls and said, “We should empty out the poisoned one so he thinks we all filled our cups with it already.”
They all filled their cups with the red gatorade and poured some of the green one in the bowl.
The ceremony was about to begin and they all turned back to the stage and watched and listened to him, “Are you all ready? Ready for a eternal life filled with wisdom and happiness, without stress, sadness, violence or people laughing at you because the think your stupid?!”
He always yelled when he got excited about something, he jumped off stage and filled his cup in the left bowl and climbed back up stage.
“The moment has arrived, would you all raise your glass.” He said while raising his.
“Their plastic cups.” Someone in the crowd commented.
He ignored it and went on, “Drink this and we will reunite in Heaven.” And drank everything that was in his cup.
He looked at his followers who at first were just staring, then all realized and drank their gatorade.
They watched him as he fell onto the stage with foam coming from his mouth, he looked confused on how they were just fine and asked, “What did you do?”
Rashad and Wallace laughed first, then the crowd followed.
“Man, we swapped the drinks and all drank the red gatorade.”, Rashad explained.
“You know, because your colorblind.” Someone in the crowd explained.
“Ah, God it hurts so badly, help me please.” Their leader begged.
People were looking at each other hoping someone would say something until someone did, “But this was your idea, your ticket into Heaven.”
“We’re just here for the fondue dude.”, Wallace said.
The cult leader was crawling off the stairs leading to the stage and screamed, “Call an ambulance!”
“Why?” Rashad asked.
“It’s all a scam, a lie, I just didn’t want to die alone.” He yelled while squirmed on the floor.
“So you’re suicidal and you wanted all of us to kill ourselves so you’d wouldn’t be alone?” Wallace asked.
“Yes, my mother never loved me. And this city used to like me but they spit me out into the gutter after I lost the key to the city.” He explained.
“He’s clearly delusional.” Someone in the crowd concluded.
“Really, now you think he is? Not the whole I’m the son of God talk? The tracksuit and sneakers, or the poisonous gatorade?” Rashad said while taking another bite of fondue, “Fuck that’s hot!”
The sirens of the ambulance were getting closer and they dragged their leader outside.
After their leader got his stomach pumped all of his former followers went back to live normal lives except for Rashad and Wallace.
The three of them opened a fondue restaurant named ‘Divine Fondue of the world’, Which later became known as that place killed a ton of people because they served people poisoned gatorade.
