Today’s the day, he thought to himself while he stared up at the stars in the sky.
The last day of the year was also the last day of Percy Pullon’s life, the doctors gave him another week and the past six days felt like walking up a mountain.
Each day even the simplest of things kept becoming harder to do.
It took him all day to prepare the last thing he wanted to do before he died.

He light a cigarette even though he never smoked a single one in his life.
But at least the coughing made him sound sick for once, nobody believed he was because only the inside of his chest looked sick.
He knew his heart was suddenly going to stop in the next couple of minutes, but if his heart doesn’t stop, he would still be okay with the decision he made, he has been sick for a while now and things looked gloomy.

The countdown to the new year finally began, all across the world people are counting down to the new year.

Ten..
He sits down in a plastic lawn chair and strapped himself in with ropes and belts.
Nine..
Using the cigarette he light the short fuse leading to the rocket he had strapped himself on to.
Eight..
Flames burst out of the rocket and fill the street in thick smoke.
Seven..
Percy is pushed back into the plastic chair, he is hoping it will hold long enough.
Six..
Gravity tries to push his big smile down into a frown but he fights back and keeps on smiling while the rocket makes it’s way up into the sky.
Five..
Groups of friends and family had gathered on rooftops across town, ready top pop open some champagne and welcome in the new year.
Four..
He is high enough to look down on the city he had lived in for all his life.
The people on the rooftops look up at the night sky, ready to watch the fireworks show.
Three..
They wave wave at him.
Two..
With a smile on his face he waves back at them.
One..
And at the exact height Percy had calculated the rocket goes off.
Happy New Year!
Percy’s body is immediately incinerated by the flames created by the explosion that for a brief moment coated the sky with the most beautiful colors and patterns mankind had ever seen (this year).

The loud bang is followed by a sea of ‘Oooh’s and ‘Aaah’s.

Percy did leave a bad taste in the mouths of the hip people drinking champagne on the rooftops across town.

*The writer had the intention to make this story exactly 2010 words long, but failed due to suffering from delirium.

“I have an itch in the center of my hand. No matter what I try the itching wont go away, it’s driving me crazy! I scratched, scraped, rubbed, bit and hit, but nothing got rid of the itching. I wanted to get a knife from the kitchen drawer and carve it into my palm until the itching was gone, and then I realized what this all meant, and so I called it the Jesus itch.”, David whispered through the thin wooden wall.
“You said your name was David?” A voice asked.
“That’s right.”, David replied.
“You see God does things for a reason, you are named after King David, that can’t be a coincidence.”, The voice on the other side said.
“Actually my mom is a huge David Hasselhoff fan.”, David explained.
There was a silence followed by a dripping sound.
David continued, “It got weirder when I walked over water, not over a lake or ocean or anything but the sink in my bathroom was leaking and there was a puddle of water on the floor and I slipped a bit knocking over the radio that was on the edge of my bath tub, which fell onto the floor but didn’t electrocute me. It was a miracle!”
“A radio on the edge of your bath tub, that’s not a miracle, that’s stupid and dangerous, and are you sure if it was even plugged in?” The man on the other side asked.
There was knock on the door next to him followed by a yell, “occupied!”

David picked the last 12 sheets of toilet paper off the roll revealing the brown spinning cardboard cylinder that it was once wrapped around.
The edges of David’s lips curled up to form a Grinch-like smile right before he wiped his butt.

Read Part II

The sound of his choking was sending shivers down the spines of the children and parents that were standing around him in a weak circle.
Fujioka’s face was turning from smothering red to suffocating blue and he was making weird groaning sounds, clearly choking on something.
His son was standing next to him building something for himself, minding his own business as if his father choking on a lego block was the most normal thing in the world.
Fujioka thought it was a nice idea to go to Legoland with his son, this because as a kid he used to play with lego all the time, so for nostalgia’s sake they went.
He spins around the room crushing the quiet villages of Legoland as he hits himself in the stomach hoping for some kind of reflex that would free him of the piece of plastic stuck in his throat.

His son finished making a gun using lego blocks and he held it to the side of his head and pulled the trigger.

At the same time his father was rescued by one of the other adults that performed the Heimlich maneuver on him.
The slimy lego block left his mouth and landed in the face of the life size figurine of Michael Cera that was completely made with pieces of lego.

The only thing that the invisible bullet managed to killed was their imagination.

He tossed a handful of moth balls into her face.
She stood there perplexed and didn’t know what to say but when she was about to he pitched another fistful of something into her face and when his hand opened nothing flew into her face.
“What was that?” She asked in disbelieve.
“Moth balls! How do you like that huh!” He yelled which made her realize even his breath smelled like mothballs.
And from that moment on their conversation was like a ping pong match.
“Yes, I know you just threw moth balls in my face but what was in your other hand.”
“Moth balls!”
“Are you just going to keep repeat yourself?”
“They were the balls of moths. I pulled them off myself one by one and collected them for the day someone finally let me out of this damned sarcophagus.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m angry!” He roared.
“So, what now?”
“Ehh.”
“I was going to clean up this closet for the first time.”
“You have been living here for I don’t know how long, and you have never cleaned up this closet?”
“What are you even doing in this closet?”
“You can’t answer a question with a question.”
“Watch me!”
“Maybe I will!”
And during a short recess they continued to stare at each other.
He was rubbing his last moth ball making sure it would be as aerodynamic as possible.
She was tossing a dustpan from one hand to another ready to deflect his pitch.
The cuckoo clock hanging in the living room struck two-o-clock in the afternoon.
..Cuckoo
  Cuckoo..
He suddenly pitched the moth ball at her as if it was a baseball and with perfect timing she hits it mid-air, sending it flying through the room.
The moth ball started flying through the room like a flying saucer on a Roswell home video, bouncing of the walls until it shot through the living room window and began creating mayhem all over town.
The sound of police and fire department sirens entered the house through the broken window, scaring the unknown man that immediately hid himself inside the closet again and she closed the door and left her cleaning for another year.

As she cleans up the broken glass she watches how the city burns and the streets fill with chaos.

“It’s simply not possible. And reindeer don’t have the ability to fly, so how could they pull his sled around the world. And all in one night? That would require some kind of time altering machine and that’s simply not possible either. So I ask you, how do you do it? And all that fat he’s got, would never fit through a chimney, not to mention his ribcage would probably be too big. Unless he did some surgery like Marilyn Manson. And a bag that contains all the presents for all the kids in the world, that would be about 2.2 billion presents!” The kid that was sitting on his lap explained.
“Kid, what does it matter, it’s Christmas.”, Santa replied under his breath.
“And how come I didn’t get any presents last year? Don’t tell me its because of the bad economy!” The kid yelled while poking a small switchblade into Santa’s side.
The Santa at the shopping mall was sweating so badly that the glue that was holding the big white eyebrows and beard onto his face was losing its stickiness, and his disguise was slowly falling off his face revealing to all the kids waiting in line that he was an impostor, a charlatan, a con artist, a trickster.
The horde of kids in front of him started to yell and scream, pulling out the giant candy canes from the fake snow ready to beat all life out of him..
They ripped the Christmas lights from the trees and tied him and his fake elves up, some of the kids pulled the giant candy canes from the fake snow and began beating up the elves.
The kid was standing in front of Santa carrying a bunch of glass ornaments.
Streams of tears ran down Santa’s in blood covered face and yelled his final words, “Easy money they said!”

On the first day of christmas their grandfather told them all about christmas back in the day.
“Kids, let me tell you a real christmas story.”, Their grandfather said while he poured some whiskey into his hot cocoa.
“It was on a white christmas night somewhere between 2 or 3 am, and with white I mean it had been fucking snowed all day and night. The roads were slippery and so were the women, but I’ll get to that in a minute.”
They had no real idea what he was on about so they just sat there on the floor drinking hot cocoa while listening to his story.
“It was christmas eve and I felt lonely, and my back was sore if you get what I mean.”, He said nodding their way, again they weren’t sure what he meant but they nodded and smiled back revealing their cocoa mustaches.
He continued his story after taking a sip of his spiked cocoa, “I walked in the snow for hours looking for a massage parlor that was open when I finally found on located in a dark alley I went inside.”
He paused as their mother walked by the open door dad’s study, when he was sure she wasn’t eavesdropping he continued his story, “So a nice lady greeted me, asking me if I wanted some tea or coffee to warm up, which I accepted because I was freezing my ass off. Anyway, she then took me into a spare room and I stripped down and laid onto a kind of table and stuck my head through a hole, and while I was staring at the ground my masseuse arrived.”
Our mother walked by the room again holding a silver plate with nibbles, their grandfather smiled at her, and so did they, she eyeballed them for a second, smiled and continued on her way back to the rest of the family.
“And by the way, this was before your grandmother was around.”, He said.
He took another sip and continued telling them his story, “Her name was Kim Long, no shit. Kim Lung, no I’m sure it couldn’t possible have been a organ, who’s last name is an organ, Hi my name is Joe Kidney. Oh! you met my girlfriend Cindy Spleen?”
He looked upset but after a couple more sips he felt better and said, “So I looked over my shoulder at Kim whatshername and God, let me tell you the bells on that girl!”
“So she started to work on my back and shoulders, and it felt great, the pain in my back was gone, just like that.”, He added.
Their mother was standing in the doorpost, “Dad, when will you come and join the party?”
“Party? The only part that will have me in it will be my funeral, now leave us alone, I’m telling them a christmas story!” He yelled back at her.
She was out of the room faster then the sound of her sigh could reach their ears.
“And the only miracle that night was how the girl was working my roasted chestnuts, and boy did she know how to suck a candy cane! And let me tell you about the happy ending of this christmas story.” He said while holding his ‘Greatest Granddad in the universe’ mug above his mouth, catching the last drops that fell out of it with his tongue.
“Are you taking it easy with the cursing dad?” Uncle Jake asked.
Their grandfather started yelling, “Get the fuck atta here can’t you see I’m spending some quality time with my grandkids.”
But all the booze made him sleepy and before they noticed, he was sound asleep.

While they waited for their grandfather to wake up again to continue his story, they went outside to make some snowdemons.
Sadly he never woke up again, but the Nintendo 64 they unwrapped under the christmas tree made up for losing their grandfather.